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Once upon Nigeria, a prospering people asked for change… God gave them Buhari

The Citizen by The Citizen
May 28 2016
in Opinion, Uncategorized
A A
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By Charles Novia

There was a young business woman, whom we will call Jessie, who had a thriving buying and selling business which had been yielding fantastic profits for years. She would travel to Dubai, America, Paris to buy goods and would sell and make eye-popping profits back home in Nigeria. She was rich. But she wanted more. She wanted change. So she prayed and prayed for change, telling God that she wanted her business to grow more under a new government. She prayed and added change to her prayers. And God shrugged and accepted her request.

And God gave her Buhari.

There was a young banker, who we will call Momah, who had a good job in a bank and as a financial worker, could see the growth patterns of the economy and the daily volume of cash flow in his branch. He had a wife, could provide for his family, summer holidays for years with his family abroad and he even ran some private businesses on the side. But he felt it could be better. He wanted more. He wanted change. And he prayed and wished and screamed for change, screaming to the high heavens for change. And God heard, shrugged and accepted his request.

And God gave him Buhari.

There was a bureau de change operator, we will call him Haruna. He ran a successful forex business and also had a chain of private stores in his region. As the Nigerian economy grew all through the years, he saw his business grow as well. But he was restless. He felt someone else could do it better for the nation. Someone closer to him by spiritual beliefs, regionalism, and personal ideologies. So he prayed to Allah for change. He prayed more than five times a day. And Allah shrugged and gave him his request.

And Allah gave him Buhari.

There was a people in a country, who experienced prosperity in their lives for over a decade. They watched the economy grow, their industries yield outputs, their pockets filled or sometimes half full with money. The country wasn’t perfect but it had promise. Things may not have been where it should have been but things were certainly not as bad as thought. But a section of the people became consumed by the Israelites-in-the-wilderness complex. And they prayed for change. They prayed and prayed louder than the other section which mumbled supplications. And God shrugged and gave them their request.

And God gave them Buhari.

And now, in God’s sanctuary, as He watches whose prayers will be answered between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, God hears the loud cries of pain, suffering, death and malady coming up to the heavens.

“Where is that din coming from?” God asks Archangel Gabriel.

“From Nigeria, Heavenly Father,” Archangel Gabriel replies with a bow.

“Didn’t I give them what they cried for last year? Didn’t I answer Joanna’s prayers? And the prayers of Momah and Haruna and the people who cried for change?” God asks as some Cherubims strum gently on their harps.

Archangel Gabriel replies as he reads from a scroll, “Yes, Heavenly Father. But Jessie has lost everything. No one buys anything from her anymore. Her business is zero. She’s broke. She’s the person wailing in that sing-song right now. Momah was sacked by his bank in June 2015. He can’t even pay his children’s school fees and his business is at low levels. Haruna can’t get dollars or foreign exchange to run his business anymore and is gnashing his teeth. The people who cried for change amongst those who didn’t want it, have suddenly realised that what they prayed for is the same as snakes and scorpions. The stubborn ones amongst them still openly scream that they don’t regret that they asked for this change but in the privacy of their homes, they roll on the floor like Dino Melaye and curse the day they picked their permanent voters cards to vote for change. Many who voted for this change openly have been repenting of their mistakes and openly apologising. Those who didn’t vote for it have just been shaking their heads and hissing. It’s a mess, Heavenly Father.”

“And what do they want again this time?” God asks in amusement.

“It’s a Babel of voices, Heavenly Father,” replies Archangel Gabriel. “Those in charge of this change seem to have tongues of lies and confusion. They say one thing today and run back to change it the next minute. Even Lucifer is grumbling at the other side that some of those people in Nigeria are threatening his job!”

God laughs and laughs at this.

Gabriel continues, “Those who the change movement removed from Power are starting a new mantra which they call ‘change the change’. There is just chaos in that land. Now, both the change people and the other side of the divide are just praying.”

God smiles and says, “Let me attend to the American elections first. After that, I will get back to Nigeria. By the way, who’s this Lai Lai fellow I keep hearing people scream about from there?”

Gabriel looks through his scroll, then replies, “Heavenly Father, Lucifer would best have an answer to that question!”

Charles Novia is an award-winning filmmaker. He is founder of November Productions and November Records.

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