An emotional Oscar Pistorius has started his testimony at his murder trial by apologising to the family of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp.
In a trembling voice, he said he was “trying to protect” her and said he could not imagine their pain.
Pistorius said he suffered “terrible nightmares” and often woke up smelling Steenkamp’s blood.
Prosecutors say he killed her in February 2013 after an argument. He says he mistook her for an intruder.
The Paralympic athlete told Steenkamp’s relatives that there “hasn’t been a moment since this tragedy happened that I haven’t thought about your family”.
“I wake up every morning and you’re the first people I think of, the first people I pray for. I can’t imagine the pain and the sorrow and the emptiness that I’ve caused you and your family.
“I was simply trying to protect Reeva. I can promise that when she went to bed that night she felt loved.
“I’ve tried to put my words on paper many, many times to write to you. But no words will ever suffice.”
In the packed Pretoria courtroom, Steenkamp’s mother, June, sat stony-faced while he spoke.
Pistorius said he is taking anti-depressants and sleeping pills.
“I’m scared to sleep, I have terrible nightmares, I can smell blood and wake up terrified,” he said.
He added that he never wanted to handle a gun again.
The athlete, 27, told the court about his difficult childhood after being born with parts of both legs missing and needing to wear prosthetic limbs.
The BBC’s Pumza Fihlani in court says the defence team is painting a picture of a man whose life has been peppered with tragedy, fear and vulnerability.
Pistorius was speaking on the first day of the defence case.
Defence lawyer Barry Roux said he will call 14 to 17 witnesses in his case to testify on “ballistics, urine emptying, damage to the toilet door, sound, and disability and vulnerability”. BBC
