Marriage is the relationship between two mature individuals. It is a union of two people coming together and forsaking all others. In Nigeria, marriage comes with its own family dynamics; it is not just a union between two but also between two families. Today, one of the greatest challenges facing many couples is the level of involvement of the families before and after the marriage.
This often encourages unnecessary interferences of third parties in a new marriage which can be detrimental if not properly addressed. It is therefore important that a couple set boundaries for their marriage and remain firm and committed to the vows they made to forsake all others too.
First year syndrome
The first year may turn out to be the most difficult year. Many marriages break up in the first year due to lack of purpose and direction and most importantly, unrealistic expectations too.
It is important to understand the emotional feelings of your spouse in the first year and not expect perfection from her. Marriage brings out the most vulnerable and delicate parts of a woman and needs a warm and secure environment to mature. A woman who has been showered with love and attention from her family will need some time to adjust into a new world shared between two people alone and it could get very lonely.
Keep conflicts within
Marriage is an institution where couples learn to understand each other’s characters and behaviours. During the process, certain issues may arise which can lead to arguments, frustration and sudden change in attitude and if not managed may lead to conflicts. In time of conflict, you must learn to hear each other out without inviting a third party to settle your conflicts. Ensure to keep your marriage issues away from your families and friends especially in the first year, find a common ground to resolve your differences and learn from your own mistakes too.
Set common values
Establish certain family values to guide your home and your marriage. Core family values will help to focus on your goals and aspirations and also avoid unrealistic competitions with other couples. Successful lives require goal setting and to avoid external forces interfering in your marriage, you will be required to set common goals and values by which the foundation of your marriage will be upheld.
As you grow together upholding your values, your marriage will become stronger and healthier and it will form a strong force which cannot be manipulated or destroyed by external forces. – Punch.
