Executive Secretary of the Child Anti-Corruption Coalition, Mr. Omololu Akinwande, said a parent that inflicts violent or extreme injuries on a child in the course of punishment should be subjected to a psychiatric evaluation.
For him, waywardness is a function of the economic, societal and physical environment in which a child is brought up, which is not his or her fault.
He said, “There are children that you can merely talk to and they would take to correction. But there are some that require more firm action. Despite this, extreme punishment or treatment would never be justified under any law.
“You cannot compare how a child brought up in a noisy area acts with the way a child brought up in a gated estate acts, likewise a child who does not have access to the basic things of life and a child who is provided for.
“You would realise that most of these children in question are accused of stealing one thing or another. Such children steal because they are simply hungry. It is the duty of the parents to provide for their children.”
Another child protection activist, Mrs. Christianah Akindolie, who runs Christianah Fate Foundation, explained that venting one’s frustration by resorting to torturing one’s child would never make the child better. Rather, it would destroy the child further.
“I noticed that this physical abuse of children is becoming rampant now and I believe it is connected to the economic situation in the country. There is so much economic pressure on the parents now, which is making parents to be angry and feel frustrated. They are beginning to vent their anger on the children,” she said.
According to her, there is need for parents to first seek spiritual help for such children through prayers.
The next step would be that parents should try to understand the children, she said.
Akindolie said, “Most parents don’t pay attention to their children’s needs and try to understand them. Parents need to be patient with children. Every parent has blame in their children’s waywardness. A child does not just start misbehaving.
“I just handled a case of a boy brought to me for misbehaving. The boy said he hated his parents. He started crying and explained that they say all sorts of negative things to him. He said he did not feel as if they were his real parents because of the way they treated him, so he started to misbehave.
“It is unfortunate that in this part of the world, people don’t take their children to psychologists. Talking to a third party is likely to help such children.”
However, some parents Saturday PUNCH spoke with agreed that resorting to violence in punishing a child is a sign of frustration.
One of such parents, Mrs. Comfort Adefila, said every parent at one point or another gets angry about a child’s behaviour.
She said, “I can be very angry sometimes when any of my children misbehaves, but I never resort to harming them in the name of punishment.
“I ask them to kneel down sometimes till they beg and say they won’t do such a thing anymore. Truly, I sometimes even smack them. But I can’t imagine myself whipping my children till they sustain injuries, which I know I would still have to be responsible for treating. Apart from that, extreme punishment only hardens a child.”
Mr. Charles Kabiawu, who has been married for 14 years, explained that despite the fact that he has teenage children, who are troublesome, he had not found any reason to punish them violently.
According to him, the issue of the most appropriate punishment for his children became a topic for discussion between him and his parents when they told him that the way he handled his own children would make them wayward.
He said, “My father was very tough when we were young. So, when I told him that I don’t beat my children, it sounded strange to him. I told him there are various ways to punish children.
“For instance, when they do something wrong, I simply take away something they like most at that moment and don’t give it back until they apologise for what they have done and promise never to repeat it.
“Of course, their actions sometimes become really frustrating but I always remember they are essentially children and are vulnerable. It is simply insane for parents to inflict injury on their children while punishing them.” Punch
